


Adventures in Online Dating

by Gdubcarver, heymacareyna



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-03 22:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gdubcarver/pseuds/Gdubcarver, https://archiveofourown.org/users/heymacareyna/pseuds/heymacareyna
Summary: Dating in a small town can get REALLY interesting, and not always in a good way.





	1. Train Wreck Ryan

**Author's Note:**

> I give all of the men nicknames as a way to respect their privacy. Some details are left out for the same reason.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of Train Wreck Ryan: part 1

The following is a true story of what it’s like to be a girl in the world of online dating. I’ve tried a lot of dating apps, mostly unsuccessfully. This took place when I had recently gotten out of a relationship, and was at the point where I was ready to go window shopping even though I was too broke to go in and buy anything. Anyways, as I was swiping my way across Bumble, I came across one of the many men who make weird picture choices for a dating app. Obviously, I had to share this with my bff sitting next to me. She swiped right by accident while trying to go the next picture and unintentionally sent me down the following path of gold.

Meet Train Wreck Ryan:

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/42525147360/in/album-72157670669897697/)

 

On the one hand, the internet NEEDS to know aboutTrain Wreck Ryan. Because this story is intense and should be spoken of. But on the other hand,Train Wreck Ryan’s a real person and I don’t think he thought about the fact that I could screen shot our entire conversation when he was choosing his words. Good thing for Train Wreck Ryan, I act the way I look:

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/29397298847/in/album-72157670669897697/) 

 

Thanks,Train Wreck! So, if you’ve ever used Bumble, you’re probably thinking “Wait a second, how did an accidental swipe right result in a message?” because girls have to make the first move. Well, after BFF swiped right, Ryan swiped right. By that point, I had developed burning questions like, "What the hell is this acronym that he has in his profile and tattooed on the side of his head?" Also, what could possess someone to get THIS tattooed forever onto their body? Spider body. Alligator head? Why? But more importantly, whyyyyyyyyy?

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/42525144160/in/album-72157670669897697/)

So I tell myself, this is Bumble. He doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know where I live. There’s nothing he can do to me here. So I sent the message. The acronym ended up being a local chapter of the Bearded Villians, which is a charity organization he’s part of. But then he wanted my number, and I still NEEDED ANSWERS. Which is how I came to find out about this gem: Google Voice. It’s an app that will give you a random number, but still sends the messages to your real phone. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I highly recommend it. Here are some highlights:

But before you begin, I suggest you take a piece of advice from Train Wreck Ryan’s knuckle tattoos and “HOLD FAST” because this is going to be one hell of a crazy ride. Let me start a little into the conversation.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/43616626764/in/album-72157670669897697/)

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/43427764105/in/album-72157670669897697/)

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/44285112492/in/album-72157670669897697/)

 

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/44332966011/in/album-72157670669897697/)

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/43427763575/in/album-72157670669897697/)

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/43427763405/in/album-72157670669897697/)

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/29397296807/in/album-72157670669897697/)

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/44332963531/in/album-72157670669897697/)

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/42525195630/in/album-72157670669897697/)

 

I would just like to point out that this comment was made after only knowing me for one hour. 

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/44332963051/in/album-72157670669897697/)

Soon after this, the conversation moved to the topics of church and Jesus. That didn't last for too long, though and it just. kept. going.

However, there were just SO MANY SCREENSHOTS I wanted to take and it was taking too much of my time at once. So I'll be adding a second installment soon. 

Just to give you an idea of just how much material I have to work with:

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/160425791@N07/43428574545/in/dateposted-public/)

...over the course of two hours.


	2. Random Commonalities

Things I never specifically look for in a man, but surprisingly often find:

1) Men who like Superman. Never any Batman fans. Only Superman.

2) Men who have been arrested for a minor offense, then released. It's not on their records anymore, but they wanted me to know. 

3) Men who overshare on first dates.

4) Men whose most recent relationship before me included them being engaged to their ex and it not working out.


End file.
